Knocked off an easy 1000 words this morning. Great feeling to get my momentum going again. That heavy boulder I’ve been pushing uphill seems to be lightening. Or maybe I’m just getting stronger?

Reading “Bird by Bird” again has definitely given me food for thought. I especially like this:

“You get your confidence by trusting yourself, by being militantly on your own side. you need to trust yourself, especially on a first draft, where amid the anxiety and self-doubt, there should be a real sense of your imagination and your memories walking and woolgathering, tramping the hills, romping all over the place. Trust them. Don’t look at your feet to see if you are doing it right. Just dance.:

I think that says it all–per writing the first draft. Just do it. Sit down and knock it out. And don’t think so much. Breathe. Give in. Escape into the fictional world for a time, and let the mistakes happen. Then, when it’s all done, go back and add things that need to be added, and remove things that need to be removed. As a writer, I am my own worst enemy. Letting go and just listening to what my characters want to say and do is the best way to keep moving in the right direction.

I’ve turned down the volume to the radio station Lamott calls “KFKD.” You know the station. If you’re a writer, you have it playing in your ear, too. The rap songs of self-loathing, the remix of things you are doing wrong. The noise from KFKD distracted me from getting any real work done. I finally figured out that I had complete control of what I wanted to hear–All I have to do is change the channel.

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I am loving my re-read of Anne Lamott’s book, “Bird by Bird.” If you’re a writer and you haven’t read it–or it’s been years since you read it–I recommend picking it up again. It’s definitely making it easier for me to get through my “shitty first draft.”

I’m writing a scene where the two sisters are in conversation, in the kitchen-of-their-youth, and I’m enjoying the process of creating their unique personalities through their dialogue. The voices can’t sound the same. The reader must be able to determine who is talking, just by the way that I create dialogue. In the case of Tess and Claire, they are very different characters, and it’s fun to step in and out of their characters as I write their scenes.

Another thing I’ve learned about creating good dialogue is to read it out loud. I remember how weird this felt the first time I did it, but it makes such a huge difference to hear the conversation–makes it more real.

I find myself listening to conversations so much more these days,  when out in public. Listening for the way people talk in REAL LIFE, knowing there will likely be a time when some of that will come in handy. Call it research, I guess, but as a writer, I think there’s more to just sitting down to write. You have to be connected to the real world in order to create a fictional one. All your characters can’t sound like you.

I always keep a notebook in my purse for those times when someone says or does something absolutely delicious that I know I will have to include in some book, some day. Family members are fair game. And they know it. Take last night for example. One of my family members (I’ll spare them the shame…) downloaded Skype and was testing it out for the first time. The phone rang at my house, I picked it up and she-who-will-not-be-named said, “I’m trying out Skype. Why can’t I see you.”

That there…that’s gold.

After a full week of getting up at 5 a.m. my body’s internal clock has reset. I now find myself waking before the alarm, ready to go. And, I have to admit, it has really helped to have that extra time. I try to write in the evening, but after a full 8 hours at the day job, my mind is in an entirely different place. I’m thinking: glass of wine, nice dinner, converse with family, read a book, watch some mindless show on the tube — SLEEP. So, mornings are definitely proving to be more productive.

I am working on a scene at the moment that involves the MC and her sister, Claire. And I know how I want it to play out (based on my outline, notes, etc), but I’m having a hard time making it work. And I think the issue is that I am confused about where Claire is at the moment. Lots of anger there, between the sisters. Resentment. Regret. All those great emotions that make for great scenes, normally, but as Claire is bipolar — her emotions flip back and forth. One minute the conversation is “normal,” and then she’s barking at her sister (foaming at the mouth kind of stuff), so I am working through the “believe-ability” factor, and I think this particular scene will set the tone for things to come.

Knowing the story, as I do, I’m anxious to move on, but I know how important it is to build this backstory — the raw emotions that I want the reader to feel. So, I spent some time just writing notes about the scene. And then I just started writing it. And it clicked.

Am re-reading Anne Lamott‘s “Bird by Bird” and last night I read a section that really stuck with me. I know it’s something that every writer who is struggling with the “never enough time,” or other EXCUSES not to sit down and write would find inspiring. Too long to repeat here, but the gist of it, for those who ask “How do you do it? ”

“..you cannot will this to happen. It is a matter of persistance and faith and hard work. So you might as well just go ahead and get started.”

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